Walk the talk

Assalamualaikum,

Kadang-kadang kan kalau aku gossip dengan my gurlfwens aku, kata tu, kata ni. To make it easier for you to imagine,

First scene : "Si A ni, pakai tudung kat sekolah, kat luar nampak jugak lurah dada and peha gebunya,"

Second scene : "Si B ni, she thinks she's all that? Tolong lah, English pun merapu nak bajet kat facebook,"


Agak teruk kan? Yes, I tend to get carried away when it comes to gossiping. Padahal diri sendiri tak tengok kan. Nak kutuk orang nombor satu. Macam diri aku ni sempurna sangatlah. Kadang-kadang when I talk about someone, aku terdengar juga bisikan-bisikan di telinga mengatakan, "You're doing it too,". Namun, ego terlalu tinggi, aku tutup telinga dan keep on spilling words of hatred about people.

Niat nak insaf itu ada. Niat nak berubah itu ada. Niat untuk menjadi hamba Allah yang solehah itu ada. But nak bertindak itu memanglah perkara yang sukar untuk dilaksanakan.

For example, niat nak pakai tudung tu memang ada. Aku dah tanggung dosa dan pahala aku for more than 3 years dah. But mesti ada excuses and reasons. Alasan yang dah basi, "Oh, I sportsgirl, leceh kot". Nak jadikan cerita, I went for olahraga kan the other day, ramailah yang berpakaian seperti athletes antarabangsa, seluar pendek mempamerkan otot-otot yang agak mantap termasuklah aku. To me, it's easier to move with shorts than long and uncomfortable seluar sukan yang berkilat serta bising. Senang lah nak menang. Tak menang pun. Yang made me impressed and agak malu is when this particular school won a placing for a certain event and all of em' were covered. Sedap mata memandang, tudung menutup kepala, baju dan seluar longgar, and yet, they still won. Alasan tah pape kan.

I guess, in this world, in these for awhile-paradise, sekarang ini. Now. Memang banyak dugaan that we have to go through. Dengan facebook, dengan si Lady Gaga punya lagu. Terlalu banyak. But I think I've accepted the delights, temporary happiness in this world too much that I've forgotten the most important one. You guys tahulah, tak perlu nak aku nyatakan disini.

I'm just being honest and I feel like sharing my dugaaan with you guys. I'm not here to aibkan anyone including myself. I just hope that my entry this day will be a pedoman sahajalah. That's my only intention.

Yours truly,
Firzana Redzuan